I had a Chinese blog, Bigapple’s Sky, in msn, where I purely blog in Chinese. I started that in June, 2007 while I am working and staying in Beijing. It feels great to have a place to write down my thoughts, my feelings, things I learned and especially the unforgettable moments of my life. I absolutely love it. As a Chinese, I always feel that I can best express my thoughts in Chinese.

However, it’s a pity that my “foreign” friends cannot read them at all. After spending 10 years in U.S., I do have some good friends who are not Chinese. Well, I still call non-Chinese as “foreigner” since I consider myself a Chinese citizen. It sounds a little bit weird since I am currently in United States and I am blogging here in English. I am actually the “foreigner” here, not them.

To give my non Chinese-speaking friends a chance to read my mind is just one reason for me to start this English blog. Another reason is I move back to United States this year. I feel starting an English blog is the right thing to do. I cannot live in an Enlgish-speaking world and pretend I am in China (just have a little bit more “foreigners” around) anymore. I used to and I know a lot of other Chinese do. To face the reality, I must constantly remind myself by speaking, writing and thinking in English. It’s the only way if I want to fully enjoy my immigrant life in United States.

It’s kind of funny that I needed to go back to China and stay in Beijing for two and half years to think that through. When I was here in United States, I couldn’t face it. I was enduring an “identity-crisis” like many other immigrants. I couldn’t open my heart to fully appreciate the beauty and greatness of the United States because I feared that was not a proper thing to do if I consider myself as a Chinese. It’d be a kind of betrayal to my motherland.

Now, I changed my mind, totally. Thanks to my stay in China. I finished the hard process of solidating the foundation of my identity. I am a genuine Chinese. There is no question about it. I was soaked in Chinese and Chinese culture while I was in China. Not only I spent a lot of time with my family and friends, but also I read and watched all the news about Politics and Economy. I took a 1.5 hour subway ride to work as many young Chinese worker does everyday. I listened to the Beijing opera mp3 on my way and I loved it. I went to visit all the ancient temples scattered all around Beijing and enjoyed the genuine Chinese food in small restaurants in the street. I haven’t felt so Chinese for such a long time ever since I went to study in U.S. 10 years ago. It just felt great!

Then I realized why I couldn’t be open-minded enough to enjoy American culture. Like Gandhi said, “I like to open the window and welcome the winds from all directions. But I don’t like to be blown away by the wind”. Without a deep root on my own culture, I am afraid that I will be blown away. Now, I am not afraid anymore.

So, here I am writing in English. That doesn’t means I don’t like Chinese or don’t want to write in Chinese anymore. I will continue to write in Chinese in my Chinese blog, Bigapple’s Sky. Who said you can only have one blog?

Life is short. We should enjoy the life as much as we can. Don’t let the languages or country borders get in your way!